Acceptance

Acceptance holds a powerful position on the ladder of the fundamental needs for human beings to survive and grow. The definition of acceptance varies for all of us; some of us expect a larger crowd to accept them than others. You can look at the expectation we have to be accepted like a small circle, and we control how much can it expand. Acceptance from our immediate family and friends is the main component of the circle, and when left unfilled, difficulties arise expanding the circle leading to discouragement at a core level, and as a result we can become desperate to be accepted by any small or big force. The deprivation means the small circle of our expectations is empty and hence it leaves us feeling miserable. The key to the solution is understanding what and how of this problem.

What does acceptance mean for you at a basic level? Is it everyone acknowledging your existence? Is it everyone agreeing with your point of view? Is it just having a bunch of fans or is it much simpler than agreement, acknowledgment, and attention? The simple answer is it will always mean different things for different people. What looks like an ideally filled expectation circle to one might be not for another. However, we do have a common reaction for most of us when we feel unaccepted. The result for most of us is disappointment, though at varying levels depending on individual level of expectations; however, disappointment is the initial feeling when you feel unaccepted.

The next and crucial part of our focus is how do we deal with it? What is the common solution? I would suggest firstly think about one belief that you strongly believe in, that could be God, a power, a force, a feeling, or any theory and facts that you know is the most alive and true feeling or thing you know. The next step is to take a poll and ask your closest five people if they feel the same. The following step is to expand the poll to ten more people who you know of in some capacity, and next time you add some strangers to the poll. What did you find out? The most common result will be learning there are more people who disagree with your strongest belief or something that your entire existence is based on, than you expected. How do we make this experiment solve our problem?

Let us look at one example, if you are a big believer of the existence of God in a specific form, and a percentage of people disagree with the existence of God in your specific or any form, it confirms the unacceptance of your most powerful existential belief. Now compare your expectations of being accepted by everyone to the acceptance of the idea God exists in some form, and now ask yourself if the most true and powerful existence is not fully accepted how do you expect your expectation circle to be filled with high levels of acceptance. Once you have accepted the idea that nothing in this world will be fully accepted and there will always be disagreements and criticism, you will activate your basic understanding of it. The next step is to break it down to smaller levels of acceptance and implement it in your everyday life. The moment you feel unaccepted, remind yourself there are people out there who don’t believe God exists, so it is acceptable if you face disagreement, unacceptance or out of place. The next step is to focus on the percentage of people who believe God exists and then you channel your energies towards people and circumstances when you do feel accepted, and your circle is filled. We all know this by nature, but it is our lack of accessing that belief system which leads us towards negativity. The solution is to focus on the level of acceptance you get and expand it slowly than indulging in feeling miserable because you feel rejected.

There is always a solution, and most of them we already know. The difference is how proactive we are in accessing and discovering solutions. This approach has helped me become very successful both in my personal and professional life. My experience comes from a cold calling sales environment and dealing with rejection every day, and at times I face unnecessary disrespectful behaviour. The feeling of rejection helps me channel and align my focus to the five percent of the target audience at any given time, the five percent who will either agree with me or appreciate I contacted them. The five percent then organically increases, and you gradually grow. The key is to start the circle small, and you will always fill your expectations of acceptance. There are better psychological needs to focus on than acceptance. It is important but not the priority.

In saying so the need for acceptance is not selfish or negative, it is how you go about dealing with disappointment and results that can lead you to all sorts of negative energy, mental health problems and depression. Once you learn to break it down for yourself and focus on all positive and the ones who appreciate your existence, you will see how beautiful and happy your journey is becoming.

For instance, I write every day and make content every day with an aim to hit the positive five percent. I can proudly say anything I have done in the past, doing now, or will do, it targets the people who need it, want it, and agree with it. I am a huge believer of focusing on the positive and considering negative criticism unnecessary. I am okay with disagreement and respect all beliefs, but I put mine above everything else. The idea is to always give in whatever way you can. If you want to achieve something but are scared to take the first step because of fear of unacceptance, try this approach and you might see a different and brave side of you. I say give it a shot anyway. It is simple.